There's no response or action returned so I get back in my red convertible and head off to the desert where I feel at home. My friend heads to the beach to assault some sunbathers.
It's getting late as I leave the city on the motorway, there are plenty of cars and pedestrians about, but nothing I'd call "people". Until I check my rear view, and realise that I'm being tailed. Four cars back, swerving in and out of traffic like a shivering anaconda through Lego, is Lloyd. A rush of excitement throbs through my forearms.
Lloyd drives a green piece of shit. It obviously wasn't his first choice, he was just unlucky. The only reason Lloyd has caught up with me is because he didn't at any point slow down to tailgate a man towing a boat, unlike me.
I go off road. Lloyd follows. I do a lap of a nearby airfield. Lloyd follows. I stop at the bottom of the dusty runway and Lloyd pulls up beside me. It's a strange moment. Ambivalence is a state of having simultaneous, conflicting feelings toward a person or thing. The most suitable thing I can think of doing is revving my engine with the brake on. Lloyd recognises this as a challenge to drag race. I win by miles. When Lloyd eventually catches up, he gets out of his car and, I think accidentally, gets into mine. With Lloyd in my passenger seat I do another maniacal lap of the airfield and drop him back off at his car.
We have a confusing relationship, Lloyd and I. Once devout enemies, we are now like two kittens pawing each other, as I humourously crash my car into his as he tries to get back in. Lloyd kicks my front wheel in with his own boots in retaliation. Touché Lloyd. I drive off, he follows.
Meanwhile, my friend has finished his violent tour of the beach and is en route to the desert to find me. I have told him all about Lloyd and he is anxious to meet him. He stops by a gun store in the city first, delaying him by a minute.
I have unwittingly ended up at a gun store myself. Naturally, so has Lloyd, although I can tell he is a little nervous about it because he has not kicked my car again. He comes in with me, under the watchful eye of the store clerk. Despite Lloyd and I's earlier frolicking, our history has obviously not been totally forgotten. In fact it has been awkwardly avoided for the past five minutes and there is a tension.
I modestly purchase various rounds for my various weapons. The transaction is simple and I am not required to provide ID. Lloyd has no idea if I'm browsing or buying, which is probably for the best. But as the money leaves my account, I am fully aware that my friend has just pulled up outside in his Joker-styled mobile.
Lloyd has not noticed, and it's his move. I'm not sure of Lloyd's financial position, but I know he already has a gun - he shot me in the head with it earlier. He won't have just left it at home. He engages with the clerk, an opportunity I take to leave the store.
"Is Lloyd in there?" my friend asks.
"Yes, he is." I reply.
"Excellent." A combat rifle appears in his hand. Say hello to my friend's little friend.
I myself, favour the Micro SMG, as we both point our weapons to the door of the gun store. Is it a surprise that it came to this?
That was a stupid move really. Lloyd has spotted us, and is refusing to leave the store. He is frightened. Me, he can take his chances with. Both of us? No.
I drop my weapon and walk to the store unarmed. Lloyd weighs up this chances of getting out of here alive. I suspect he hasn't purchased anything useful, the store clerk sure isn't interested in showing him the back door out. I approach the building and slowly lean into the door and it opens
"You're going to die, Lloyd", I say, but he can't really hear me. He looks at me the way a bunny rabbit looks at everything.
Enough of Lloyd is exposed and my friend opens fire. The store clerk ducks for cover, his store is now closed.
Lloyd is dead.
I come back out into the parking lot, basted in the desert sunset. Lloyd's shitty car is parked badly outside. My beaten up convertible beside his. My friend has parked his car proficiently in an allocated space away from us. He enjoyed killing Lloyd, but is now over it, and ready to terrorise some boat owners by the lake to the north.
I shoot my friend once in the head with my pistol. He drops down. I get in his car and drive off slowly. Why slowly? Because when we wakes up, he'll always know where to find me. Plus, it's a beautiful night.
